Monologue: Dialogue with the best person in the room!

Let's face it - talking to yourself is still a bit of a social taboo.

When someone catches us doing this in the kitchen or in the car, we immediately put on that guilty expression, as if we were just robbing the fridge at midnight. But, honestly, it's an incredible paradox. While society teaches us that talking to ourselves is the first sign that we're "haunted in the tower," psychologists have been clear about this since the 1970s: it's a sign of high intelligence and a great tool for maintaining sanity.

I've noticed this in myself many times. The internal chaos, where the shopping list, worries about the children and unfinished work are swirling in my head, suddenly gets order as soon as I let it out of my mouth. Thoughts are like steam – elusive and scattered. But words? Words have weight. As soon as I say them out loud, I have to sort those thoughts out. It's actually a kind of mental cleaning in real time.

Experts like Aaron Beck and Thomas Brinthaupt have questionnaires and categories for this. They found, for example, that introverts or only children talk to themselves more often. So how? What matters is what it does for us here and now. Self-talk works as a perfect concentration buzzer. When I repeat out loud to myself: „Now I have to take care of these three invoices and then I’m going to exercise,“ I activate more senses and I simply don’t get the task done.

And then there’s the fascinating thing about addressing yourself. I’ve found that when I criticize myself – which we women over 50 are really good at, right? – I think to myself. „You screwed up again, Daniela.“ But when I need to cheer myself up for a performance or calm myself down before a tough conversation, I refer to myself as „her or her – like you should calm down!“ or I use my name in the third person. This distance is priceless. You suddenly see yourself from the outside, with perspective, without the unnecessary emotional sauce that sometimes paralyzes us.

I really hate the idea that talking to myself is a sign of loneliness or weakness. It's the exact opposite. It's a sign of strength. It's the ability to have a dialogue with different dimensions of my personality. Sometimes I'm like a strict teacher to myself, sometimes like a best friend who supports me when I'm not feeling well. And yes, I argue with myself, scold myself, and also brag about how great I am ;)

Formulated out loud idea It also helps us to discover what is ours and what someone else has imposed on us. When you say something and it sounds false in your ears, you know that it is not you. That it is just some foreign voice that has settled in your head. Soliloquy reliably detects these parasites.

The truth is that we spend a quarter of our waking lives in internal dialogue. Sometimes, turning it into audio is simply an effective upgrade. It helps with memory, emotions, and most importantly, with making ourselves heard in today's noisy world.

So next time someone hears me mumbling to myself in the produce section, I'm not going to pretend to be singing. I'm just having a discussion with it. the most important person in your life. With myself. And I advise you the same.