Five "calming" activities that don't work!
Or when we think we are resting, but we are actually just adding fuel to the fire 😉
Ladies, let's be honest...
At 50+, we already know what stress is. We've had children (who still manage to surprise us), relationships of all kinds, careers full of ups and downs, and we're watching our bodies change in ways that no one prepared us for. It's no wonder we're looking for ways to calm down!
But beware – some of our „proven“ methods are like a chocolate diet: a great idea at first glance, but the results? Well, let’s be honest…
Series marathons: When Netflix stops being your friend
We all know it. A stressful day, a decision to "watch one episode to relax" and suddenly it's midnight and you discover that the protagonist already has a third husband and you don't know where you left the first one.
Binge-watching is like chocolate ice cream on a whim – it feels great for a while, but then we wake up tired, broken, and feeling like we've missed half our lives. Plus, research shows it disrupts sleep. And we already have enough sleep worries, right?
Better option: Try setting a limit – say two episodes. And when you really need to „turn off your brain,“ try something that won’t keep you stuck on the couch until dawn.
Advice-Gathering as a Hobby: When a Decision Becomes a Poll
„"What do you think, should I buy that red jacket? And you, Mařenko? And what does your Věrka say?"“
We know it. An important decision, so we ask a friend. Then a sister. Then a colleague. Finally, the saleswoman in the store. And surprisingly, we have five different opinions and we are worse off than we were at the beginning.
At the age of 50+, we already know enough to make our own decisions. Let's trust ourselves! After all, if we managed to raise children and survive their puberty, we can also handle choosing a jacket.
Better option: Ask at most one trusted person. And then take the time to listen to yourself!
White Noise: When Even Relaxation Stresses
Modern times offer us apps for everything – even to help us calm down with „white noise.“ But what if you’re one of those people for whom the monotonous sound reminds you of a TV set from your childhood that’s out of tune or your neighbor’s vacuum cleaner upstairs?
Sometimes the best calming sound is just… silence. Or the birds outside the window. Or even the chaos we live in – because that’s our life and we don’t need to drown it out.
Better option: Try different sounds and find your own. Maybe classical music suits you, maybe the sound of rain. Or maybe you find that you relax best to the sound of your own breathing.
I sometimes like to listen to ASMR – such as a massage or a head wash – for me, God 😉 Of course, you need to have headphones.! Write to me if this gives you goosebumps like me.
„"Don't think about it!": The worst advice ever
„"Calm down", "don't think about it", "it'll work out somehow" - if these sentences can calm someone down, they certainly don't calm us, perfectionists with a tendency to have everything under control.
In fact, trying to „not think“ about a stressful thing is like trying not to think about a pink elephant. The result? We think about it even more! And on top of that, we feel guilty for not being able to calm down.
Otherwise, the phrase "Calm down" can drive me crazy 😉 I doubt it's ever calmed anyone down😁😂
Better option: Instead of suppressing your thoughts, try to accept them and explore them. What specifically is stressing you out? What can you do about it? Paradoxically, when we allow ourselves to think about problems, they often begin to seem more solvable.
Burying Yourself in Work: When Escape Isn't the Solution
„I’ll be so busy I won’t have time to stress!“ It sounds like a plan, but it usually ends up not only stressing us out, but also exhausted and angry that we’re not getting enough. A self-defeating strategy!
At the age of 50+, we should know that more work does not automatically mean more happiness. Sometimes it's just more work.
Better option: Instead of adding tasks, try removing some. Or delegating. Or simply accepting that the garden at your parents' can wait.
In conclusion: Let's be kind to each other
Dear women, aged 50+ We've been through so much! We've weathered crises, changes, challenges. We deserve real rest, not imitations of it. Sometimes the best medicine is to simply admit that we're going through a tough time, embrace it, and seek real help – whether it's a walk in nature or just a candid conversation with a friend who's known us for twenty years.
Let's remember: Stress is normal. Perfect stress management is not. And that's okay. We're okay. Even if we sometimes watch the third episode in a row - but at least we now know why. 😉
With love, Daniela
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