Who failed? Us. Today's children are just a reflection of us.

Reflection on the World: Kids Haven’t Changed – We Have. On lost structure, boundary-free parenting… and why the chaos starts with us.

Oh girls, let’s be honest. Sometimes I look around and feel like I’m living in a completely different movie. I remember a world where men were a support, women were strong, and the world had a clear direction. A world where people knew what was proper, where there were boundaries, and where the word “responsibility” carried real weight.  

And then I look at today’s social media… Boys with painted nails and makeup, caricatures of masculinity drowning in insecurity. Girls pulling from both ends, trying to be perfect mothers, wives, and entrepreneurs – all while hiding massive exhaustion and burnout underneath. And on top of that, this constant chaos of values, where it feels like nothing is solid or certain anymore.  

You might think I’m old-fashioned. But you know what? I have the advantage of remembering a childhood without excessive comfort. A childhood where we worked in the garden, helped around the house, and where a parent’s word carried real weight. And now I see how many young people today can’t handle even the basics. They don’t know how to clean up after themselves, take responsibility for their actions, or endure even the slightest discomfort.  

And you know what? I’m tired of hearing people say, “Kids today are different.” They’re not. They’re simply a reflection of what we, the adults, have stopped expecting. As Frank Martin, head coach of the University of South Carolina basketball team, once said:  

„"You know what makes me sick to my stomach? When I hear grown-ups say that kids have changed. Kids haven’t changed. Kids aren’t to blame. We’ve changed as adults. We demand less from them. We expect less. We make their lives easier instead of preparing them for what life really is. We are the ones who’ve changed."  

📊 Estimates from research (approximately):

• Genetics: 30–60 %
• Upbringing and environment: 40–70 %

I ask myself: where did it go wrong? When did we, as a society, start prioritizing comfort over real parenting? When did we, with good intentions, begin making life easier for our children instead of preparing them for the challenges that life inevitably brings? Sometimes, it’s even caused by… excessive care!

I believe that plain exhaustion plays a big role in this. Parents are tired—from work, from societal pressure—so they give in, just to have a moment of peace. But by doing that, they unknowingly undermine their children. Parenting gives way to comfort, consistency fades, and boundaries disappear—replaced by “peace and Netflix.”  

And the result? Children can’t handle frustration. The moment the slightest problem arises, they fall apart. You tell them, “Do it yourself,” and they break down—because they never had the chance to learn independence and responsibility.  

And on top of that, the roles of men and women are shifting. Men are getting lost in their own uncertainty, searching for their style in the mirror instead of building character. Women, on the other hand, are forced to handle everything – family, finances, children, careers – and still put on a face like everything’s perfectly fine. Where is the balance? Where is the natural strength and support a man should be offering a woman?  

And let’s be honest, ladies – sometimes we do it to ourselves. Sometimes, it’s excessive feminismthat denies the natural differences between men and women. The constant effort to prove that we’re “the same” as men ends up hurting us instead of helping.

Yes, feminism has its rightful place in the fight for equal rights and opportunities. But we must understand that we are not the same. A woman is not weaker in the sense of being less capable—she simply has different strengths: empathy, intuition, and emotional insight. A man, on the other hand, brings strength, logical thinking, and a focused drive. And that’s perfectly okay! These differences complement each other and create harmony. The problem begins when we try to deny or erase them.

And in all of this, we must not forget the foundation – the family. Mothers and fathers have immense power to raise strong and responsible individuals. But the value of family is fading. Parents are exhausted, lacking time and energy for consistent upbringing – and then they’re surprised by what their children have become.

You might think I'm exaggerating. But just look at history. Ancient Rome – the decline of morals and values led to the fall of the empire. The post-war generation – those hard times shaped strong characters, people who appreciated what they had and weren’t afraid of hard work. Our parents – they experienced scarcity but learned discipline, perseverance, and responsibility. Where are these values today?  

This isn’t about cruelty. This is about raising resilient kids.
👉 A bit of cold = understanding that life isn’t always comfortable.
👉 A bit of hunger = learning that you have to work for what you want.

It’s not about whether boys paint their nails. That’s just a surface symptom of a much deeper problem. The truth is, many men no longer know what their role is – who they really are. Women take over the responsibility because they have no other choice. But in the long run, it’s unsustainable. And children? They just watch the chaos in confusion… and learn – well, actually nothing.  

Are genders really changing – or is it just identity that’s getting lost? I feel like we’re raising a generation of uncertain young people who don’t know who they are or where they belong. They escape into ambiguity, into “labels” and categories, because it’s easier than doing the hard inner work and finding their own path.  

Look, kids aren’t the problem – the real issue lies with the parents who choose convenience over consistent guidance, just to have some “peace and quiet.”

• Where’s the lesson in cleaning up after themselves, taking responsibility, and handling minor discomforts?
• When you say “do it yourself” and they break down immediately, it’s a clear sign that someone failed to give them the support and structure needed for independence.

Instead of challenging and guiding their children, many parents give them almost everything—and then wonder why they’re out of control and full of issues in their teenage years. How are they supposed to step into the real world if they never even got the chance to learn how to organize their own life?

Ladies, this isn’t a rant against the younger generation. This is a call to us – the adults. We must reclaim our responsibility for the future of society and stop tolerating behaviors that lead to emotional meltdowns at an early age.  

We need to give our children not just love and understanding, but also clear boundaries and challenges. And teach them that life isn’t just about comfort, but about effort, discipline, and responsibility.

Most importantly – we, women, must stop being the only ones holding the line. We have to speak up, say enough, and insist that parenting isn’t about “peace and quiet” – it’s about preparing our kids for life. more satisfied and happier everyone's life.

Strong family bonds lead to happier, more fulfilled lives for everyone. This isn’t hate. This is a call to return to the solid foundations we can actually build on. And I believe that we – the women who haven’t given up, who still remember strength and structure – can be the force that helps rebuild the world. Because as the saying goes: