The Four Agreements: A Path to Peace for Women 50+

Discover how the Four Agreements can help you find inner peace, set boundaries, and live guilt-free. A practical guide for women over 50.

Dear ladies, if you are over fifty and still think that you have to save the whole world, solve your children's problems, and still feel guilty that you are not perfect... then this article is exactly for you!

It is a practical guide to personal freedom. In his book Four agreements Don Miguel Ruiz reveals the roots of the limiting beliefs that rob us of joy, cause stress, and lead to unnecessary suffering. Four simple yet profound rules, based on ancient Toltec wisdom, form a code of conduct that can fundamentally transform your life—bringing you freedom, inner peace, true happiness, and love.

This book, Ruiz's most famous publication, was first published in 1997 and has since sold over 4 million copies worldwide. It was even featured on the popular Oprah Winfrey show.

What I love about it? It's not a thousand-page philosophy, but concrete advice that makes sense in everyday life. A short book that can open your eyes - and maybe your heart.

Imagine if you stopped living under the stress of what your neighbor, daughter, or even the lady at the cash register thinks of you. Does it sound like science fiction? But it doesn't! Miguel Ruiz, a Mexican doctor and shaman, offers you a way to finally live your life according to yourself. And I say – it's time to start!

Drawing on ancient Toltec wisdom, Ruiz argues that most of our suffering comes from “deals” we unknowingly made in life. Mostly as little girls, when someone told us we weren’t good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough. And we took it to heart and live by it to this day!

Reality for women 50+: How many times a day do you tell yourself, "I'm an old cow" or "I can't do anything"? Exactly! And then you wonder why you don't feel great.

Practical tip: Start monitoring your inner monologue. When you find yourself saying something negative, ask yourself, “Would I say that to my best friend?” If not, don’t say it to yourself. And when you’re talking to others, be honest but kind. You don’t have to lie about how you like your sister-in-law’s new haircut, but you also don’t have to say that she looks like a poodle after a rainy day.

Reality for women 50+: If your son doesn't respond to your messages, it doesn't mean you're a bad mother. He might just be busy, or (shocker!) he's just a typical young man who doesn't communicate like you do.

Practical tip: Imagine that each person wears invisible glasses with their own reality filter. When someone says something unpleasant to you, remember: “That’s their glasses talking, that’s not the truth about me.” Liberating, right?

Reality for women 50+: “My husband is being a little quiet these days, he definitely doesn’t love me anymore and wants a divorce!” Do you know that? Instead, just ask, “Honey, are you okay?” Maybe he’s just having problems at work or constipation.

Practical tip: When you start to create a dramatic scenario in your head, stop and ask yourself, “Do I have any concrete evidence for this, or am I just making it up?” You’ll usually find that you’ve created an entire Shakespearean drama out of someone forgetting to say “hello.”

Reality for women 50+: Stop comparing yourself to the version of yourself from the past or to other women. Your best today can be that you got the job done, did the shopping and didn't kill anyone 😉 And that's totally okay!

Practical tip: At the end of each day, say to yourself: "Today I did what I could with what I had." No evaluation, no criticism. Just an acknowledgement of reality... I'll even brag about how great I did!

How much energy do you spend remembering what you should have said differently, done better, or not done at all? That ship has sailed long ago! Instead, tell yourself, “I did the best I could with the information I had at the time.”

Your children are not an extension of you. Your partner is not a mind reader. Your parents made mistakes because they are human. We are all doing the best we can with what we have. And we are all different!

“No” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to apologize for not having the time, energy, or desire to do something that others want you to do. Your well-being is not selfish, it’s a necessity!

Every morning, look in the mirror and say something nice to yourself. Even if it's just: "You have nice socks today." You just have to start somewhere!!! ...and don't be afraid to say nice words to yourself, affirmation they are a great choice!

Dear women, turning 50 is not the end, it's the beginning of your best era! The era when you can finally stop living by the rules that someone imposed on you in childhood and start living by your own.

The Four Agreements aren’t just theory – they’re practical tools for everyday life. Try them for a week and see how your perspective on the world changes. And most importantly – be kind to yourself. You deserve it!

If you want to better understand yourself and others, develop yourself, and stop unnecessarily complicating your life, definitely buy this book. Four agreements. It is written simply, clearly, and yet has incredible depth. It summarizes what we kind of suspect, but often don't live. And that's why I enjoyed it so much.

🎭 I also recommend the theatrical adaptation with Jaroslav Dušek – it's an experience!
▶️ Watch the performance on YouTube

📚 You can buy the book, for example, at Kosmas.cz or Alza.cz

“When you feel love for yourself, you no longer live your life depending on other people’s opinions. You don’t need other people to accept you or tell you how good you are, because you know who you are.” Don Miguel Ruiz

The Secret – see the world through different eyes!